Lesson Learned (The Blog Behind the TEE!)

One good thing about getting older is that you learn the importance of a good lesson.   When I was younger, I shied away from the hard things in life. I felt the harsher aspects of life were meant to destroy me. Now, I see that all situations have both their up and down sides. 

Sometimes, we only want to look at the positive outcomes and we don’t realize the lessons that are often learned through our failures. 

Case in point:  

A few weeks ago, I had a sort of anniversary. When I use the term anniversary, I expect most people envision a wedding, death or some other special occasion. But this particular anniversary involved the memory of a brief conversation. 

Though not much was said, this conversation went on to affect my life in a big way. It heavily influenced my actions. I let my guard down, when I shouldn’t have. I tolerated things that don’t align with my character. I allowed myself to believe that I was less than. In the end, my decisions led to several months of intense pain and heartache. 

Now this is where my age makes a difference. In the past, I would have looked upon this conversation as a horrible event. I would have placed all the blame on myself for being stupid enough to be duped, or I would have made the other party out to be a monster. I would have wallowed in a sad story wrapped around my unwarranted situation.  And that is where I would have stayed. Not seeing any worth or redeeming qualities about the situation.  No Lesson Learned. 

My middle-aged self knows that there is often more at work than just what my eyes can see. Sometimes, things happen to us to protect us from ourselves. Other times, it’s to take us down the path that we would not have necessarily chosen. 

In this case, I needed to grow. I was (and probably still am) a little too Polly-Anna for even a PG 13 crowd. I believed in the goodness of people. I believed that things always have a way of working out.  I believed that if I was straightforward and honest to people, they would be straightforward and honest to me in return. 

This type of thinking serves well in an Elementary Classroom or while teaching Bible School. But in the real world, it’s not a very realistic approach. I needed to see that you can’t trust everyone.   That just because I’m being considerate to others, it doesn’t mean that those people will feel obligated to respond in a like manner.  

The Lesson Learned was this: If I am going to be serious about this non-profit, I need to have a slightly harder shell. But most importantly, I need to learn my own value and not concern myself with negative opinions. 

When I first wanted to tell this story, it was intended to be part of my blog about Life Avalanches.  I had to cut it out, but here is what I said: 

I shared with someone how I recently had an anniversary of sorts. It was the anniversary of a conversation that changed my life. This seemingly unimportant event launched me towards one of my most crushing periods. I truly believe that if I hadn’t had that particular conversation, I would have escaped the next few years that were filled with pain and heartache.  

You may be wondering what I would do if I had the chance to do it all over again. What do you think? Do you think I would choose to avoid that conversation? Or maybe wish it away, so it never happened?  How about if I could go back in time and change the course of things, do you think I would have stopped that avalanche from ever forming? The answer to that is no. I wouldn’t change a thing. 

I have learned: It’s the small moments that will lead you to life avalanches. What you do and how you do it matter. 

As you continue on your path, don’t forget to Live your P.O.W.E.R.! Plan...Organize...Work hard...Excel...and Reap the rewards. You have the power to make it. You have the power to do great things. Keep digging. 

You will have many chances to grow. Life will offer you experiences that have the potential to drown you, if you don’t learn to swim. 

You don’t have to regret your past, or any of your darker, unwanted experiences. Lift your head up, my friend. Find your hope in the Lesson Learned. 

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